Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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