maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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