you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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