I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
