I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
