You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
