Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
