I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
