if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
