what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
