You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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