I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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