We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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