yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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