Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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