Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
