I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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