She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
