I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
