She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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