sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
