oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
