? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
