Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
