Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
