I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
