just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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