Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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