I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
