Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
