from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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