Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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