They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
