I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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