ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
