i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
