it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize