Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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