that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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