people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
