After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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