Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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