when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
