FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize