Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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