he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
