I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
