I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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