chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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