I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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