dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
