In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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