i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
