yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
