Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
