yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
