after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
