think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
