Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
