walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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