New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
