So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize