benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
