he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
