I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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