Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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